I’ll admit I’m a total bloke when it comes to Christmas. I haven’t done any shopping. Yet. I’ve got to get it done this week for two reasons:

1 - It’s Christmas next week.
2 - I’m off to the girlfriend’s on Saturday.

So, with that in mind, I have to get a list of things for Christmas that can be purchased locally. At least I don’t have to worry about parents until after Christmas, as they’re away Christmas week.

Of course, there should be something special for the babe, as the first thing she said when I asked ages ago was ‘Dressing Gown’. How awfully practical dear… At least it was a suggestion, which is better than ‘I don’t know darling, why don’t you surprise me?’ Words like these must strike dread in the minds of many blokes. This can be interpreted as ‘Whatever you get me won’t fit/be the right colour/completely useless/the third one I’ve had this year….

It misses the point of Christmas. Sure gifts are good, and the adage ‘Tis better to give than to receive’ rings true. Our gift-giving should be a reflection of the gift God gave us. (If you’re thinking life, well close, but no cigar). Christmas is a remembrance of Jesus, God’s gift of salvation to mankind. He came to earth human as you or I, and lived among us until that fateful day when He paid the price for our sin. Jesus did not appear out of thin air (well, except the immaculate conception bit) and suddenly just go ‘Right - sin. Paid for. I’m off on holiday.’ No. He lived as we did, sharing our lives, as now He still does, resurrected. But I’ll come to that at easter.

So Christmas, giving of gifts with love, not with the value and size, is more important. I’ve noticed that when my folks give me my Christmas presents, occasionally the smallest gift is the most awesome.

If I don’t blog before the day, merry Christmas y’all.

I’ve finally recovered my hearing aid. For those who don’t know, I am technically one of the many hard-of-hearing people in the UK. I am practically deaf in my left ear, and have some loss in my right. I have a Siemens Prisma digital hearing aid, which is great. It’s way more accurate than the old analogue ones, as they only just about covered the dynamic range that was required. This one is programmed to replicate the dynamic range that my hearing has lost. With some new batteries, I hear again!

Of course, maybe those who read this blog regularly realise that I am a: a Christian and as such b: believe in a God who can heal. So why not my ears? Well, God has healed them in one respect - I was given a hearing expectancy of 5-7 years. 11 years ago. Not something I could ‘fight’ like a disease, so increasing the odds of this ‘miracle’ as some might put it.

So if God chooses to complete this then that’s great. Until then, I’m grateful to Him that I am not deaf. However, I would accept my lot in that respect. Before the flame wars start, I do have some deaf friends, and in no way are they jealous of my hearing. I am in awe of those who once heard things and now do not. Unlike the old saying: ‘It’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.’

As I sit here, pondering my life, I realise I have a beautiful view outside. Tall, majestic clouds float past the Blorenge, a mountain I have an uninterrupted view of from my windows. In the summer, everything is a vibrant green, but in the autumn, it all turns a fiery red. I watch the trees lose their leaves, and the mountian turn brown. When the sun comes, like today, it has moments of fiery red.
Why am I writing this, you may ask? Well, it’s like this:
Autumn is not a depressing time. Think about the trees - they go through the annual cycle of growth and rest. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.”

So as the trees go through the cycle of the seasons as dictated to them from the very beginning, we see that they go through a process of renewal and strengthening each time. Whenever I see the trees lose their leaves, I realise that they will grow again in the spring, and become stronger for having been through the whole process.
So it is with us. We are people who will go through difficult times, where we cannot sleep, cannot rest or relax, and it feels as though the weight of the world is upon our shoulders. Jesus never came to say ‘Rest up guys (and gals), you don’t ever have to stress about anything ever again’. Now he did say not to worry about tomorrow, and to cast our burdens onto Him, and to be honest, quite often I feel guilty that I should have to do such a thing. So now I find myself in a personal Autumn where the pressures are great, maybe of my own making - but that’s not the problem here, it is the finding of the solutions that we need. In the process of casting burdens, we find ourselves in a clearer position, similar to winter air, which is crystal clear compared to the haze of summer. Only then can we see clearly, and be revealed the solutions to issues, or the path we should take. Yes, the days are shorter, and nights dark, and this gives us the cosy feeling in the evenings when we have the fire burning (if you’re old scholl like me) and you’re sat all cosy on the sofa. After the darkness of a winter, comes the fresh spring. Spring is awesome because the trees grow their leaves once more, flowers bloom, and life seems anew.
I can’t wait for my spring to come. Too long have I waited in the darkness of winter.

God has blessed me with so much, and for that I am grateful. As mentioned in “The Matrix : Reloaded” -
“That went badly”
“No it did not”
“Why?”
“Because we are still alive”

So it is. I am still alive, despite all the hustle and bustle of modern living. Slowly I am growing to dislike the pace of modern life, even despite living in what many would define as a ‘rural market town’. Occasionally I wish I never knew a thing about computers. That is true. Still, God knows exactly what He’s doing, and it’s ok by me.

The photo above was taken around 2000, at the start of the autumn season, and shows heavy clouds on the blorenge. Scanned from a dusty negative, taken with a dirt cheap film camera. Obviously, it’s been cropped to fit the whole theme of this site.

Hi all. As you can tell from the title, it’s a few new things going on. New life, for my girlfriend, as she’ll hopefully be out of hospital in the next couple of days. I’m not going into any specifics, but the op she’s just had will remove a long-term hindrance to her having a fuller life. She says shell be more annoying to me. Also, she reckons I won’t know what to do with her. I do. And I’m not saying here. (To those who thought something rude - wash your mouth out with soapy water.)
New diet indicates that I have to change my dietary habits. I have been having dietary problems for many years, and now I’m in a job where I sit a lot more, it’s harder to be comfortable. It’s not piles. It’s only the start, and I’m told I may probably have to be on this for life, which in some respects is no bad thing. I refer you to my previous posting about God and healing here. This explains something about why I haven’t sought physical healing, but I really felt God had led me to discover a reason for the problems, and to solve those, as that would be more beneficial for my life.
New Year - soon. This new year will culminate all the new things that have happened this year :

• New job - a web developer
• New girlfriend - patience has bought me the best woman I could have hoped for: Godly, beautiful, honest and true
• New computer - (sort of) new parts, such as a Geforce 8 series, 2gb Corsair RAM, Antec 900 case have gotten me my modded pc. Just a quad-core and watercooling kit to go, and that’ll keep me happy for a few years.
• New friends - well, online friends in Halo, but there’s mutual friendship in the game. 1AV is the server, I’m there frequently. GG

And the new year promises more. Who knows, maybe marriage may be on the cards? With whats happened to my girlfriend, we have already had to seriously look at each others commitment in our relationship. This has bought us closer, and hopefully God will bless us further. Theres many other things which could be new next year, but I’m keeping those card close to my chest, and not revealing to you, my readers.

To relax in the evenings (when I get the chance) I like nothing better to listen to a few tunes from Emusic - I recently purchased (I subscribe - it’s a technicality) Tiesto’s ‘Parade Of The Athletes’ which is an awesome tune selection. Also obtained an excellent album called ‘Exploring The Tributaries’ by Vibrasphere. A fine mixture of ambient and trance which is at moments beautiful, other moments have you wishing you were on a dancefloor. A great album I’ve played pretty much solid since yesterday. Also, they have another album called ‘Archipelago’ which is probably more in the ambient vein, but these are two great albums worth a download from emusic.com.

I’m currently in the process of completing a site for another client, can’t really give details, but the deadline is tight. So that’s eaten a lot of personal time too. Again. Still it gets money into the business, and keeps me in a job.

My girlfriend’s gone through some troubles recently, requiring a hospital visit or two. It’s a delicate situation, and although we are looking at a drastic resolution to matters, we are also expectant of a God who heals. I myself am a testimony to this, as I was diagnosed with an infection in the ears which would have now left me deaf nearly 6 years ago. The fact I love music and can still listen to it is testimony enough to that same God. So, in one mind we are praying that God will heal, but if He decides not, then that is also a realistic viewpoint. I think that people can become misguided when prayers are offered for healing and none is received. I sincerely wished for healing during my severe headache phase (I used to get severe cluster headaches), and none was forthcoming. Was this a problem? No. Did it mean God doesn’t exist or that He didn’t care? No. To the contrary, God does care, and He did pull me through. Without healing the illness, but then if it was that easy, everyone would jump on the bandwagon.
God has plans and purposes beyond our reckoning. That much we know. I know this: God has me here, enduring my trials, enjoying life, and still feeling that this is the right place and right time for me.

Sorry about that, just a little rant about stuff. Anyway, I’ll post again soon.

BTW - All that about changing to Joomla. Not yet. Still working on it. However, Wordpress works fine for me. It also has a relatively small webserver footprint too.

Well. It’s true. Sometimes in the Web Developer’s world, the work will hardly flow. Other times, there’s not enough time. That’s where I’m at at this particular moment in time. Just trying to keep some semblance of a normal life, trying to do things to please my babe, keeping the flat tidy, just getting things done. I know things will get quieter. I’m already looking forwards to the next project, which is graphically different from a lot of the corporate stuff I’ve built recently. Can’t wait!

Got my new Antec 900 PC case a couple of days ago, plus the Zalman fan monitor. Great pieces of kit. For those interested in both - a word of warning. The Antec’s nice 120mm fans are controlled by little switches, and plugged into Molex sockets. You’ll either have to convert or change the fans. I plan on changing the fans. I’ll get the similar blue ones, plus a cool red 120mm for the CPU cooler. It’ll create a great red core with purple/blue transitional lighting out from there.
The case is great. It’s dropped about 4 degrees of both my CPU and overall case temp. Tonight I had to take the cover off to check something (I spent a couple of hours rewiring it with spiral wrap) and felt the cooler air in the PC! Awesome.

Spiritually, things have been difficult of late. Pressures of work have taken their toll. The work I do doesn’t allow much in the way of reflection or free thinking, so I have to dedicate time to the things of God. Which I haven’t much. Plus there’s something else to mention, but it’s not going on here until I’ve mentioned and discussed with my babe first. I’ll get there. I’m on the winning side. Not that I’m bragging. Look it up in the Bible. The devil did it. He loses. Jesus wins.

Finally, I’ll post up some pics in the next few days of my PC, and the restored Parker 25 fountain pen. A pen that’s older than me!

I got up late this morning. I missed church. I know my girlfriend will be worried, but she is coming over afterwards anyway. I’m sorry in some ways that I’ve missed church, but in others, I’ve had so little personal time, and now the flat is empty except me, I can potter around, clean up a few things, sort out my little domestic chores that get left by the wayside because of the pressures of modern life.

Ah, modern life, where wold we be without our computers, our pda’s, mobile phones etc? I would be a little happier, doing some physical work, probably retail for a small family outlet. Modern life was meant to make things easier - I’m supposed to be washing dishes, but I’m stressing over the possibility that I’ve lost all my email backups on our work backup disk… Argh!

I hope people forgive the whole tongue in cheek heading. I for one, am glad that the same law of the land applies to the Hindu’s as well as the farmers who have lost their cattle in the Bovine Tuberculosis culls. Why should an animal be allowed to live, whilst posing a potential threat in terms of infection? Since when did religion give way to common sense?
We as Christians have a responsibility. To live by the law of the land, until it conflicts with the law of God. How can we live in the face of such injustice? That many farmers (I am related by relationship to some organic meat farmers) should suffer at the hands of our government and yet the hindu ‘god’ should live. That is not right. I for one applaud the strength of choice taken by the court of appeal. Yes, I understand that animals suffer, and so do men. God gave us a command to have dominion of the animals of the land. Think about this - natural selection - we should have lost (if) we were cavemen, trying to develop weapons… No, God kick-started farming and everything associated with it. Meat and all.
I know some people will find this offensive. If it makes you think about the state of things, then good. Try this:
Animals have never developed political, judicial and economic systems. Why have we? Whether this leads you to God, I do not know. But…
Can you imagine Lemurs becoming Maoist? Or Wildebeest adopting a democratic system, and peacefully protesting about the crocodiles that eat them during their migrations?

No.

I’m sorry, but many people go on about equality for all, and yet this goverment panders to the needs of the minorities - I am glad that someone had the balls (pardon my language) to stand up to this tide of ‘equality’ and say no.
Strong words and opinions from a strong minded Christian? Yes. There could be more. But I hear the sound of pitchforks being sharpened already. Get over this. It’s a cow. Animals don’t have faith, cannot save you, and do not have any influence over you (unless you’re worshipping them). Jesus came to be a sacrifice, a blood offering to stop all blood offerings. Jesus was not a cow, a dog, a sacred frog. He was God, in human form, come to save mankind from his sins, and in His resurrection we have victory.
Now it’s late, I’m going to sleep.

Revelation is great. It’s not like hindsight or anything like that. It does work in a similar way though. I had been reading the book of Revelation, and there’s a great quote about that on the Simpsons - where the newscaster says ‘It’s in Revelations people!’. Anyway, I had read about Jesus wishing that people were either hot or cold.
To some people this may not make sense. Try this: take a glass of cold water, a glass of hot water and a glass of warm water. Try each one, and you will probably be disgusted at the warm glass of water. I am anyway.
So, there I was, making some teas and coffees for work, waiting for the kettle to boil. We have one of these funky kettles you can see into. Now, when the water heats up, it will go cloudy. Then it will start to boil and become clear at the point of boiling. To me, this was a reflection of what Christ was saying where he wished we were either hot or cold, not lukewarm (Revelations 3:16).
The other side of this is that when the water is cold, it is very static. There is no dynamic to a cold glass of water. It will only move when you move the glass. Warm water does little too. Hot and boiling water takes on a life that is completely unexpected. I watched the kettle boil and realised that the life of the water, had it not been for the lid, would have splashed out everywhere. Even when you look at hot water in a glass, on a sunny day, you can see a shadow cast by the thermal dynamics being played out in the water. Cold water does nothing. Hot water moves.
And so this should be in our lives. We should be hot for Christ, for God, for the Holy Spirit, and only then will we move with a dynamic provided by heat from God himself.

Late to Bed, Early To Rise…
I’ve been up since 5:30am, and I’m tired. Didn’t sleep much last night, mainly due to some stupid things, so I decided to get up early and clean up a bit. Haven’t had much time to clean recently due to being out and about with other things going on.
God is working in me. That is pretty awesome. There’s always something more though. Like Martin Luther King once said, ‘Be patient, God has not finished with me yet.’. Now I know I am probably misquoting this er, quote, but to me it speaks of the fact that we are all unfinished people, missing the vital element of having Christ in our lives.
People who truly seek God to be central in their lives reap the benefits of a life that is lived to the full. Now I don’t mean that they do what they please. I’m not looking at the secular worldview of ‘live life to the max’. It’s not about doing what we please, its about living to please God. If we are doing that then He pleases us.
Just a tired spiritual rambling.