As you can imagine, yes. I am slightly (!) stressed. When I was at my girlfriend’s over the weekend, I found out my blood pressure had gone up, now at 140/100!! To me, that’s alarmingly high. I an anxious, feeling some effects of depression, and agitated a lot. Is it my job? My circumstances? My life? Probably a combination of all three. With the recent events of my girlfriend’s hospital visit, some high-pressure web dev jobs, and home pressures, no wonder things are through the roof.

I haven’t even thought about christmas yet. And I was supposed to be serving at the Christmas Carol Concert at church, but I’m working. I hate working Sundays. I hate working weekends full stop. Occasionally, I somtetimes wish I was back in retail. I know this doesn’t post a rosy picture of being a web developer, and I am sorry for that. But I just have the feeling at the moment that I am sinking fast. I entered this profession not actually being trained, so I was already on the slow starter then. My experience of web design was modding a few templates, let alone developing an e-commerce site using database driven Content Management Systems.

What to do? I’m uploading an incomplete site to use for a training day tomorrow. Do I feel happy about that? No. Do I have enough time to finish it. No, not unless I don’t sleep. But I have enough difficulty with sleep. 3pm this afternoon felt like 11pm at night to me. At the moment I feel like I’m in quicksand. I need to find a way out.

And I’m not sure which way *is* out…

BTW - this is in no way a slur - it’s a comment on my personal state of mind. I am aware that things are tough, and there is the prospect of improvement.